It took me a long time to want to open up but this is my blog, my outlet to be real! I know I have not posted in so long but there were a few things I had to over come to get back to where I was. I wasn’t going to share this but this is my outlet and I want to be real with my readers because I’m hoping some people can relate to my struggles. Back in April I went through domestic violence. This is so hard for me to type because I thought this guy was everything I wanted and the rest of my life. This has been one of the worst things I have gone through in my whole life. We often think we pick a good one when we really don’t know much about the person. My ex-boyfriend was a detective of criminal warrants and went off the deep end. It ended in tons of terrorist threats and him coming to our condo in not the right state of mind. At the time I did call 911 and he ended up in jail. Since I’m a nurse and I feel like I want to help everyone but I could not help him at the time. I have been beating my self up since because he still remains in jail and has not gotten a chance at rehab. We have gone to many trials and each was one was just as hard as the first. The first time I had seen him since that night on video cam was by far the hardest. I have so many mixed feelings still. This act of violence was brought on by an addiction problem that I did not think nor knew was as bad as it was. The trials we have been through the judge has denied him bail as well as a change at rehab. I feel he needs rehab to fix his addiction but this is out of my control. We have not been through our criminal trials yet where I have to take the stand against someone I loved. This will be so hard for me!
Addiction is a real problem now a days and I see it everyday in the hospital. I feel like his actions were a cry for help but unfortunately when you threaten someones life you can not take that lightly. Writing this post I hope that other people can learn to brave like I was. You should never settle for less then what you deserve. Yes putting someone in jail will make you feel guilty but what I have learned is sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to change. No one should ever feel scared for what someone could do to them. Although my ex-boyfriend has had no prior incidents I had to do what was best for me. Since then I have had to move and restart my life to the best of my ability. Yes I have bad days but I need to be strong and know that I deserve so much more. As much as I wanted this to be it for me I trust that God has better plans for me. I really wish him the best in re building his life but I can not be apart of that. I have surrounded my self with my family and friends and that has seemed to help me so much. Sometimes you have to stop worrying about what you have lost and start focusing on what you have to gain. This is possible through dropping negative people from your life and surrounding yourself with positive. Life does not always go as planned but you need to be open to where it can take you. I have since moved from our condo into my own place and I couldn’t be happier. I know I have not posted for a while but I am back now. Thanks so much for stopping by xo!